Wild Passion
by ohscrewthename
Summary: Sakura had finally convinced Sasuke to do something he'd never expected to do in his lifetime. Crackfic


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I never will. And thank god too. I would have to kill about half the people on fanfiction for their ridiculous fics. This one included.

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"Sakura, do you think we should be doing this? I mean…what if we get caught…?"

"Oh stop it Sasuke, don't tell me you're scared."

"I'm _not_ scared."

"Then calm down and take a deep breath. It'll be done soon."

"Why do we have to do this again?"

"Because Sasuke! This is what ALL couples are doing, duh! Even family members, in some strange cases…!"

"Well excuse me, I'm not exactly experienced in this…area. I don't even have a family anyway, remember?"

"I know that already. You've bitched about it like a hundred times. Don't worry about it Sasuke-kun, you are with a professional here."

"Psh, professional? You. Well, I guess I have no other choice. Just don't break it."

"YES, professional. And don't worry, I won't. Now take your stick and put it in."

"Hn, like this."

"Oh yeah, exactly like that…that looks very nice Sasuke-kun…"

"Now what do I do?"

"Pull the stick out and smell it to make sure it's right."

"Is it supposed to be that white-ish color?"

"Well, I guess so. That's how others' look, I think. At least, that's what they told me...I think."

"You _think_?"

"Stop being a wimp and just smell it!"

"I am not a wimp…"

"Well?"

"Well what... Oh. Yeah. It smells great."

"Okay good. Now drip some of the liquid in."

"Why do I have to do it Sakura?"

"Because you have a lot more than me."

"Likely excuse- just don't blame me if I spill it..."

"...I must admit Sakura, I feel really awkward doing this."

"It's okay Sasuke…I know it's your first time. I'm just really surprised you haven't done it with someone else first."

"Like who?"

"Well…like Itachi or-"

"ITACHI?! Oh god Sakura, don't make me puke. You...that's just _sick_."

"Don't throw up damnit! You'll ruin everything we worked for, Sasuke!"

"Then stop saying such disgusting things."

"I don't think it's so bad. I wouldn't mind doing this with Itachi. I bet he would know what he's doing."

"Oh please Sakura, he would probably just squirt this in your eyes and run for his life."

"Are you saying that I'm not good at this?! I believe I hate you now Sasuke. I think I'll just stop and leave!"

"You better not Sakura. Not now…we're pretty much finished. No reason to let hard work go wasted. And I would be pissed if I had just wasted my time doing this. I have a brother to kill, ya know? Plus I…kind of like this."

"Okay fine, I'll stay. You really like this? Heehee...Now where's the-"

"Oh crap, I spilled it."

"SASUKE-KUN!"

"I didn't mean to, sheesh."

"Get paper towels-quick! Hurry, before it stains!"

"Will that soak it up?"

"Just get them!"

"I'm going, I'm going…"

"Honestly Sasuke, for a ninja you sure are clumsy. Here, clean up this bit right here."

"Whatever. Do you want me to leave?"

"Well, I can't do this myself!"

"What'll the others say, do you think?"

"They'll be fine with it; they've already done it too, remember? You're the only guy in the village who has been putting this off."

"I can't picture Neji doing this with Tenten at all."

"I can. What I _really_ can't picture Gaara and Temari doing this."

"...They did this too?"

"Oh heck yeah, just found out yesterday. Weird huh?"

"Just a little…didn't they have separate lovers? Why are they doing _this_ together?"

"Well, maybe they're just family expressing their "family" love...?"

"…Right. HAs Hinata and Naruto done this too?"

"Hinata has been asking about it, but Naruto keeps avoiding it."

"Well maybe he didn't know how to do this, like me."

"The fact that you're comparing yourself to Naruto is pretty hilarious Sasuke. He's done this before, just not with Hinata, duh! Which is also sad."

"And why is that."

"Because that means Naruto has done this sort of thing before YOU have!"

"Hmph... Is it done now?"

"Yup, move over, we're all squished. And stop sweating already! It'll be fine."

Sakura finished stirring the container holding an assortment of flower extracts. Pouring in the alcohol, she gave the beaker a stir with the glass stick and set in on the small counter.

Sasuke deftly poured in his half of the mixture soon after, creating a lovely, cherry-blossom and freesia aroma that quickly wafted about the room.

Sakura smiled contently and inhaled a bit of the scent.

"Our lovey-dovey perfume is done now, Sasuke! Get me a bottle for it and pick a color." She sniffed at the beaker again. This was going to be the best perfume ever. It was sure to sell big time in the stores.

"Sakura does it really matter-"

"YES IT MATTERS. This is our special love perfume bottle! If we're going to be sharing this with everybody to declare that we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, it has to be in a pretty bottle!"

"Fine, I'll get a red one." Sasuke grabbed an elongated, swirling scarlett flask. Sakura nodded in approval.

"Okay, now aim the liquid in carefully in, and try not to miss this time..."

"I won't…" Sasuke grumbled, wishing she would just can it.

He poured the beaker quickly into the bottle without spilling a drop, and then secured the burgundy crystal lid on it.

Sakura smiled, intertwining arms with Sasuke as they gazed at their finished product. After a brief silence, Sakura looked up at Sasuke as something dawned on her.

"Hey Sasuke, what are we gonna call the perfume?" Sasuke closed his eyes in slight annoyance. When would this just be done?

"You mean to tell me it has to have a name?" Sakura growled in response.

"Of course! Every scent has to have a name!"

For a few moments, all was quiet. And then, to Sakura's and Sasuke's surprise, Sasuke spoke.

"Hn…how about Wild Passion?" Sakura's eyes widened at the sheer genious of the name.

"Wow, I'm impressed. That's perfect Sasuke-kun! How did you think of that?"

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and gazed at the bottle, feeling a bit uncomfortable about the explanation.

"Well..."

"Go on!"

"Well...I figured that the red from the bottle suited the fragrance of freesia, plus the warmth of the red stands for passion."

Sakura stood there, her lips parted in a gape. Decidedly ignoring her, Sasuke continued.

"...And there is passion in love so…all the warm tones just compliment each other nicely. Plus when the gold words are printed onto the bottle, it won't contrast."

The room was silent for a few moment, as Sakura pondered over her boyfriend's unintended poetic speech.

"Um, Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked over at his girlfriend, slightly pleased with how impressed she was of his expertise.

"...You're not gay... are you?"

Sasuke twitched, his once prideful expression instantly contorted into an embarassed scowl.

"SAKURA!"

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A/N: So that's the end of that fun little one-shot. Lol Did you like it? Bet you didn't expect that coming huh? R&R and let me know what you thought of my stupidity. P


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